Thursday, June 28, 2007

13th cigarret on the 11th hour.

Its 3 in the morning and i think i shall contribute to this blog for once. My days here have been well spent and cashed in. The smell of the city excites me and with every day i get more and more comfortable here. This in tales an above average disrespect for assholes on the subway and the urge to eat the finest kabobs prepared by street vender's. I just finished my 3 week stint at MTV. All that i will say is it was a very great experience. The last hours at MTV where spent finishing kids work. A seemingly preplanned attempt to get paid and to not have to put forth any effort. Thank god inkhed was supplied with a steady supply of red bull and cigarettes. With out this snapping would be involved, and the only thing i like to snap into is a slim jim.
  I have also met a good sum of great people. This city is nothing like a postal service song. Full of great and inspiring people. I saw a woman on the subway when i first got here and to be honest with you i was feeling quite down about allot. I looked over at this finely dressed business woman to find her dripping what seemed to be tears from her face. I don't mean to sound fucked up but this actually made me feel better. Not in the manner of her pain but that, seeing this made me feel like i was not alone in this big place. I gracefully made a point to stare at her until attention was obtained. Finally she looked at me and i drew a shape of a heart in the proper place of where my heart was placed and will hopefully stay. A smile leaked from her beautiful face. Then like a week later I get on the A train to proceed home. This is normally a 30 to 40 minute journey. About half way through this journey a cute messy haired girl with thick Glass's and a dumpy outfit entered the car. I could not keep my eyes off her and it seemed to be the same for her. Impulsive people we are. NO action was taken upon these glances and i left the train to eat well prepared authentic Chinese food. I was left wondering about this girl. What does she do, she appeared to be some sort of sympathetic human with basic needs of love and attention.Will i ever see her again will i ever get and opportunity to at least say hi. These where the thoughts that filled my hed for the majority of the night. These moment are cherished my me. Locked in a small box filled with a large heart.    
    I was glad to get ahold of my good freind ARSEN. It was beyond great to be able to see him. I got the opportunity to here his newly created tracks. New master peices by an even more masterful friend. It always surprises me to see how people reach out to him to help. I love how he can come to a city like New York for 3 months a seem so calm. Newly made Friends seem like old acquaintances. I ended up helping him one night moving his stuff to a place where he was able to stay in Harlem. With his guitars and cloths in hand we made our way to Harlem via Manhattan. I find situations like this fun. Its always nice to have stuff and a stable home but something i can appreciate more is the ability to be able to carry your all of your belongings by yourself. Packed and and ready to go anywhere on a moments notice. Nomads are what we are. No home is final and will never be owned. Shared and loved by many. As we turn the corner to meet our freind Gleb by the subway i notice a familiar messy hedded girl with thick rimmed glass's. It was the same girl i met with eyes on the subway. This encounter slowed my pace so that i could say "Hi" Then proceeded to keep walking. I did this in a confident manner. Knowing that this is in fact a small city and an even smaller world. Things happen for a reason. I now don't hope to see her again. Because I'm not worried i know for a fact i will and the next time will be a more appropriately place and scenario.
    A city that never sleeps housing a newly exited artist that never sleeps. This seems to be a good match.  
Now to all my Friends left behind on the left coast it seems to be an ever daunting and impossible task to fill the hole dug into my heart. I miss all of you. These nights here would never have happend with out you . There is not a single day where i don't think about you. Especially the love ounce had. Things here are great and this seems to be my next phase to becoming the person who i strive to become. there will never be any sum of money drugs or sex that could make me forget the people that shaped me. The past three three years where the most important mind shaping years of my life. I would like to take time to say thank you guys and gals for such a thing.

   Well its is almost four and i think it is time for me to smoke a smoke and to listen to the newly obtained tracks of RPG again. Also I'm becoming very tired of fixing my dyslexic attempts of writing.



1 comment:

Telene said...

aw, it's so good to read an entry from you, my lil' 1halfbear ^.^ we miss you here, too! big hugs and love from your sf mom. xoxo*~